MAIDEN VOYAGE: Entry #4

So much for my picture post; this laptop may just self destruct if I try that so I may have to wait until Wednesday evening to put up any photos.

If they ever wrote a children's book about our day yesterday it would be titled Baby's First Driving Experience in Chicago. Our plan was simple: drive to a restaurant in downtown Chicago, eat lunch, then venture to the lakeshore to visit a couple parks and the zoo. Things started okay enough. We got from the southern burbs up to downtown. I even managed to park securely in a ramp on my first try, something I can never seem to do in Minneapolis even. We walked down and ate at Pizzeria Uno, a restaurant recommended to me by a native Chicagoan. The pizza was delicious and super filling. After snapping a few photos I urged us to get going, as few things in the world make me more apprehensive than city driving. Especially when you're driving what is essentially the largest domestic passenger sedan on the market.

We hit the freeway once again but due to a couple of navigational errors made by my helmswoman in the passenger seat, we wound up in the wrong place. A very, very wrong place. For all my apprehension driving downtown, I soon remembered the kind of apprehension I like even less: city driving in horrendous neighborhoods. Urban decay of every variety, open containers of booze being drunk in the streets. Panhandlers walking through rows of cars asking for change. Groups of young men in those dress-size white T's standing on the corner, perhaps sitting on a package. Rows of boarded up low-rises surrounding weedy courtyards. Perhaps if I were Jimmy McNulty I wouldn't have been quite so smacked by the whole affair, but as it was, I wanted to get the fuck out of there and fast.

Luckily we found our way eventually and headed up the lake shore on US Highway 41. It took us a long time, and forced us through many traffic snarls but we made it up to Lincoln Park. By the time we got there the zoo was closed. Rush hour traffic had ensnared the city like a swarm of god damn fire ants and the trip back began absolutely horribly. Short version is that we wound up on some kind of detour through Lower Wacker Dr. and stuck in rush hour traffic right in the damn middle of Chicago at 5:30 PM. At that point I decided I'd had enough for the day. I had to be man enough to know when to throw the towel in and live to fight another day.

Suffice to say it was some time before I managed to get out of there, no closer to the freeway I sought. The only way I managed to get out was to go back the way I came on 41, retracing my whole entire route back to the hotel. By the time we got there I felt horrible; my stomach rolling and turning from the cumulative effects of the day's food. But, the other member of my party was hungry, so we went to a local Greek place (staffed entirely by Mexicans...strange) and got some dinner. It warmed my heart that WWE Raw was on the TV and all the employees were studiously watching it. The guy cleaning the floors literally would watch and only do his work during commercials.

The food was fantastic but I couldn't even eat my Gyro (which the woman ordering in front of us annoyingly called a "guy-row") because I felt like such shit. We had to go to the local Target to get some drinks and supplies afterwards, and finally I was able to lie down at the hotel. I put my Gyro on the nightstand and vowed to eat it soon. After lying down for a while I felt better and managed to put it away. It was astoundingly good. There was more meat on the sonofabitch than there was pita to encircle it. Once I'd finished it though, it was time for sleep.

Now we're gearing up to head out of here. We're going back to Madison, staying one additional night there, and then going home Wednesday. I remain optimistic despite my Chicago fail yesterday. Next time I will be more prepared. Actually next time I'll take the fucking train.

MAIDEN VOYAGE: Entry #3

Now that my hearing has mostly returned, I can write this ish down...

So yesterday went from being shitty to being awesome in a short time. We started out by leaving Madison after some consternation about where to find a grocery store nearby. We just got some drinks from a gas station and headed out on US highway 12 towards Chicago. I ate Taco Hell for the second time in my entire life. It had been over 2 years since I even set foot in one, and that was for relief from what I'll succinctly call an intestinal civil war.

We headed down through some nice pastoral areas towards the Illinois border, but once we hit Illinois, I learned in time two things:

1. Google maps is smarter than me and I should not try to modify the routes it picks for me

and

2. Just because a highway is marked as a US highway on a map is NO GUARANTEE that it will not be 80 miles of stoplights and 40 mph speed zones.

What resulted was what should have been a relatively short trip being turned into a long, droning journey, during which I probably was averaging a walloping 15 miles per gallon. Winding our way down highway 12 into Chicago, we then went south on US Highway 45 towards the hotel. All said and done it was damn near 4 PM when we rolled into the place. My legs and back were killing me from the constant stopping and starting/stressful drive.

The hotel was overrun with people also there for Iron Maiden. Unshaven, long haired geeks like me were just about everywhere, all speaking excitedly and carrying Irish suitcases of cheap beer. We quickly got moving, getting ready to go out and grab a bite before the concert.

We ate at a nearby Asian fusion restaurant which provided us with some delicious fare at reasonable prices. The waiter was truly excellent and brought us the food in a hurry. I ate way too much too fast though, and worried of intestinal distress at the show. We reached the parking lot at the arena exactly as they were opening it for parking. We got a killer parking space near the gate, but wound up having to wait an hour to get inside. The funniest part about it for me was that there was a female line and a male line for pat down searches. The male line was about a quarter of a mile long, and I could count the female line on two hands. I forgot my camera in the car and by the time I realized cameras were permitted, I had already gone inside and could not re enter. I snapped some photos on my phone, but they are horse shit. My only hope is to find some photos taken by people in attendance that night.

After we got in we managed to feed the giant corporate monster as dutiful American peons should by buying overpriced t-shirts and a 5 dollar bottle of Coke. Just writing that last part makes me want to absolutely puke. We settled into our seats and had to wait for another hour before the show would begin. The day was hot, and this is an outdoor venue. Still, our seats were pretty good. The only downside is there was a speaker rack that obscured whoever was standing stage left unless they walked to the front of the stage. With Maiden this wasn't a problem but John Petrucci was elusive during the opening act.

Finally the concert got underway. Dream Theater played about a 45 minute set (!) and did a great job. They really need to get a rhythm player though, as Petrucci's insistence on filling all the gaps in the mix himself really made for some difficult listening at times. They predictably closed with Pull Me Under and left the stage. After a long period of preparation, the stage was set for Maiden's appearance. The customary Doctor Doctor cover opened things up (I'm glad I'm not the only one who loves the shit out of that song). Below is the setlist for the show, in order. I actually had written it pretty much from memory, but I checked it against a list I found online (I love you, internet) and realized I'd switched some songs around.

The Wicker Man

Ghost Of The Navigator

Wrathchild

El Dorado

Dance Of Death

The Reincarnation Of Benjamin Breeg

These Colours Don't Run

Blood Brothers

Wildest Dreams

No More Lies

Brave New World

Fear Of The Dark

Iron Maiden

Encore:

The Number of the Beast

Hallowed Be Thy Name

Running Free

As you can see, shit was heavy on stuff from Brave New World, Dance of Death, and Matter of Life and Death. Only a few classics in there. I'm not going to be one of those ass holes who bitches like mad about the setlist. Iron Maiden are grown ass men and can play whatever the hell they want. I actually really like the Brave New World album personally.

Bruce introduced "Blood Brothers" as a tribute of sorts to Ronnie James Dio, a guy who he called a "mentor." The crowd broke into a huge DIO DIO DIO chant at that, and an absolutely epic performance of the song ensued. The whole place was frigging into it.

One notable thing to observe as well was that they let Janick do a lot more shredding than usual at this show. If you watch the Flight 666 and Rock in Rio concerts, he seems to be relegated to rhythm guitar and 'sound effects' a lot (i.e. pick scrapes, harmonics, etc.) But here he was nailing a lot more solos and played almost all the recurring melody lines in Blood Brothers and other songs.

Just an outstanding concert. Mind blowing musicianship from top to bottom, and you'd expect nothing less. I already heard people bitching about the setlist in the lobby at breakfast this morning. What song did they want to hear? You guessed it. It's not that Run to the Hills is a bad song, but let's be real. The band has like 15 fucking albums worth of songs they can pick from. Don't you think they enjoy busting out album cuts now and then, and not just playing the same shit over and over? I sure would if I were in a band like that.

Tonight I'll probably do a 'picture post' with some photos from the trip so far, so stay tuned.

THE MAIDEN VOYAGE: Entry #2

We departed Minnesota yesterday from Red Wing (where we had dropped off the cat and spent our first night), heading south to La Crosse. We stopped in Winona to pick up a few supplies we forgot to bring (namely shampoo and deodorant....fuuuuuuuuuck). That was the first time I'd been in a K-Mart since our trip to South Dakota last year wherein the aforementioned mart was the only place nearby to get some new batteries for our CD player.

It was an agreeably pleasant and uneventful drive from there onward to Madison. The XM radio worked just as I thought it would to pass the time. There were only two points of consternation:

1. Sometimes I'd lose my signal if we went under some big trees or next to a big bluff.

2. The DJ on the Boneyard insinuated Ronnie James Dio sang on Headless Cross, thus proving her daft and unworthy of the job.

Once we got to Madison we checked into the hotel and headed out for lunch. 3 years ago when we came here for vacation we ate at a mind blowing Chinese place on a side street near the university area. So we went there again, finding it basically from memory, and had a fantastic meal with tons of leftovers for later. Then we headed back, intending to return to the State Street area in the evening when things cooled down. I passed some time watching the History Channel. The whole time I thought of that Adam Sandler bit on Weekend Update where he's supposed to be a travel reporter but he spends his whole Greek vacation in the hotel. "I'd seen Bull Durham before, but....never in Greece."

We eventually did head back, but most of the stores were closed by the time we got there. We had some ice cream from the Chocolate Shoppe (another place we ate at last time) and walked to the capitol building for some photos. There were a bunch of guys and gals, all with a bad case of the Umbles (stumblin', fumblin', tumblin') from a few too many High Lifes literally playing golf in the middle of the road. No police presence whatsoever but then again this is Sconnie. For some reason the part that made me laugh was that they were actually wearing golf clothes and golf spikes for this, replete with sweater vests and golf gloves.

We headed back after that, intending to get lots of sleep before heading out today. Presently I'm gathering our things for the 170 miles from here to the Windy City.

OH WAIT IRON MAIDEN IS TONIGHT!

O

M

G

And john petrucci

THE MAIDEN VOYAGE - ENTRY #1

This blog will serve as a place for me to post a vacation log while I am journeying to Chicago to see Iron Maiden on the 18th of July. The voyage commences on the 17th. The name for it came to me the other day, and I thought it was perfectly fitting: The Maiden Voyage. Particularly because I'll be taking my new car on its first real road trip and I'm anxious to see how she performs.

This right here is the map of the route

I'll be taking. I've actually gone this way to Madison before but have never set foot in Chicago. Sounds like fun. Downside is it's only about 436 miles, not quite my usual length as far as road trips go. Then again I'm usually not going on a road trip to see IRON FUCKING MAIDEN.

So every man of the house needs and loves his car. As you all are probably aware I'm a hardcore devotee of the old school, and one of its tenets is that as man of the house, I drive a big-ass rear-wheel-drive 4 door, V8 full size sedan. It was this way in my dad's time, my grandpa's time, etc. and I'll be damned if it'll change now. So behold, my machine:

1997 Mercury Grand Marquis LS. 4.6 Liter V8 engine and a 17 gallon fuel tank. This is the kind of trip these babies were built for. Touring and riding in comfort and style. Unfortunately the Marquis and the Crown Victoria/Town Car are going out of production next year. The last of the big fucking rear wheel drive monsters. A man can look quiet and correct in one of these.

As you can see I've made 2 key 'modifications' for the journey, the biggest of which being an XM Satellite Radio mounted on the dash. At a cozy 13 bucks a month, we get over 150 channels of commercial free music and other content. I don't think I'll ever listen to terrestrial radio again. The other mod is a simple cupholder/clutter catcher I've mounted to the floor. One of the annoying things about the stock cupholders is they cause you to lose access to the AC controls. Problem solved. For refreshment purposes, I've got a 38 quart cooler I'll be dropping in the back seat.

All is in readiness.